Another reason people who need a life coach might be resistant is the idea of control. A person might believe that they would be told what to do or have to follow the coach’s suggestions and thus would lose some control over their life. Nothing could be further from the truth. A coach suggests and enables, but never forces or drives the client in a particular direction. When I’m helping someone, they’ve got ownership of both the responsibility for their actions and the decisions for what they should do. I’ve got to give you the tools and the ideas and to work with you for what you can discover by talking through your problems, but your life is always your own.
I believe the number one reason a person considering a life coach wouldn’t hire one is because of a fear of personal change. Ironically, a person that wants to make their life change does not want to change themselves. This is exactly opposite to the way life actually works. A large number of philosophers and succesful people attribute their success to their ability to change themselves usually with the help of a third party. A person imagining a bad outcome to this behavior thinks that they will become an unrecognizable person that they wouldn’t like to be. In fact, the difference that people experience through almost any change is a better, stronger person and people change through the process of a normal life on almost a daily basis. Having a hand in your own changes and pointing yourself in a direction you desire will give you the best chance to reach your goals and become the person you would like to be.
Being aware of this concern, I will not push my ideas for change on you. I will suggest ways of thinking about issues that may cause you to come up with your own ideas, but you are always in charge.
Each of the posts in this series have a common theme. They are bad reasons not to hire a life coach and the root cause of the decision is driven by fear. Everyone does not need a life coach, but if you do please do not allow fear to drive your decision.
If you started a new job and you were given an unfamiliar task and were unable to determine on your own a good course of action, what would you do? Wouldn’t you reach out to fellow employees and seek knowledge from them? I understand that some would have specialized knowledge and some would be in a better position to help, but wouldn’t they be the ones to consult? On the other hand as an employee if you had knowledge to impart and perspective to give wouldn’t you volunteer to help a struggling coworker?
At some level in life, we’ve all had our challenges, we all have knowledge and perspective to provide to others and can help each other even if it is only to hear someones troubles, let them release some pain, and share some understanding. We all need someone sometimes and life coaching can be a wonderful way to provide that presence.
Some may think that a life coach would be providing answers to problems that are brought to them. That they would have nigh unlimited perception and understanding of the world and the way we should behave in it to achieve our goals. If this were true, I’m sure a mere 30 minute talk (provided for free in most cases) would be enough for the problem to evaporate. If this scenario is what you expect I think you might be disappointed.
I believe that a coach starts with you on a journey of listening, appreciating, understanding and learning the unique situations and personalities and facts surrounding your issues. Then they can provide ideas to continue the thought process with you to determine actions large and small that will facilitate approaching your true fulfillment and proper destiny.